Kids and Pets
Pets as Children
To many owners, pets can symbolize children. They depend on
us for attention, social direction, food and shelter, or care
when they are injured or ill. Acquiring a cat or dog is often
one of the first joint decisions made by new life-partners and
the first focus of shared responsibility. Young couples frequently
experiment with "parenting" a pet before having children.
When the real children arrive, however, pet owners may suddenly
be reminded that pets are animals, after all.
Introducing Your Pet to a New Baby
The first rule of introducing your dog or cat to a new baby is
that it must be a gradual process. Pets, especially dogs, need
time to adjust to a new family member. When you learn a child
is on the way, review basic obedience skills daily with your dog
so that it will reliably and consistently obey you. The commands
to "sit/stay" and "down/stay" are essential
to control your dog and give direction for desirable behavior.
A curious and affectionate pet can unintentionally harm a baby.
A child may be accidentally scratched or even dropped when a friendly
dog jumps up on you to investigate. Keep your pet's nails well
trimmed. If your pet has any type of behavior problem, resolve
it now while your life is still relatively uncomplicated. In anticipation
of a baby's arrival, take preventive measures. If you are aware
of even the smallest problems with your pet, these are best resolved
before the baby comes. Pre-existing behavior problems are often
magnified with time, especially as seen through the eyes of a
sleep-deprived new parent! New parents who are thinking of obtaining
a pet soon after a baby's birth should carefully consider the
additional investment of time and energy required and deserved
by any pet. If you have any doubts, don't adopt a pet until later.
When the baby comes home from the hospital, it is probably best
to isolate him or her from your pet for the first few days. To
minimize excitement, greet your pet calmly without the baby there.
Though new parents are often tired, you should make extra effort
to spend "quality" time with your faithful pet. Reserve
positive interaction between you and your pet to times for when
the baby is present, minimizing attention at all other times.
In this way, your dog is unlikely to view the baby's presence
negatively, which could result from reduced owner attention. Some
of the following suggestions may be initiated even before your
baby arrives home. Present a blanket with the baby's scent to
your pet. Let the pet explore this new odor under positive circumstances.
Reward your pet with gentle words and caresses so that it forms
a positive association with the baby even before they are introduced.
If your pet has a special place to sleep, place the baby's blanket
there. It may help to carry a doll as an imaginary baby and to
pretend to do chores, such as diaper changes, associated with
baby care. This mimics the changes that will be part of your lives.
Teach your pet to hold a "sit/stay" position in the
presence of the doll. Allow your dog to investigate the doll only
if the animal remains calm and controlled. Make a tape recording
of your crying infant and play this at gradually increased volume
while you practice obedience commands and praise your pet for
desirable behavior. When your dog is undisturbed by the recording,
continue training sessions with the tape recording and doll. By
the time you introduce your baby to the dog, your pet will be
more likely to adhere to basic training despite its curiosity.
When you are ready to introduce the dog and baby, have an adult
hold the pet on a short leash in a controlled "sit/stay"
or "down/stay" position across the room, while another
adult holds the baby. Proceed slowly over several days, bringing
the dog (as long as it is well-behaved) closer to the baby. Keep
the dog under control with a reassuring and relaxed manner. After
several weeks of consistently successful sessions, cautiously
allow your dog off its leash. No matter how well you trust your
pet, an infant should not be left alone with any animal. If your
pet has a history of guarding its food, hunting for small prey,
escaping to roam free, resisting obedience training, undisciplined
or wild behavior toward people, excessive fear in new situations
or with strangers, or aggression toward you or anyone else, you
must proceed with extreme caution (or perhaps not at all). If
you have any reason to suspect that your dog may harm the baby,
a muzzle is a wise precaution during training. While some dog
breeds are more likely to attack children, a dog of any breed
can injure your child under certain circumstances. If you are
not certain that your pet is trustworthy (because of its history
or your lack of time, skill or commitment in training it), your
child's safety must come first. Do not allow your child, or your
dog, to become a statistic. Hire babysitters that have experience
with pets, and carefully instruct them on keeping child and dog
separate. During visits with friends who have pets, in your home
or in theirs, do not let your guard down. Infants should be closely
supervised at all times, even with the most trusted pets. No one,
especially children of any age, should be left unattended with
an animal they cannot control. Keep soiled diapers in a "pet-proof"
hamper. Dogs may be tempted to investigate and even eat soiled
diapers. This normal parental behavior in adult dogs is directed
toward keeping their den area clean. Their purpose is to keep
their offspring (your newborn) healthy and safe from predators
that might otherwise detect their odors. Dogs and cats may urinate
or defecate on baby blankets or baby clothes, or on your bed.
Some cats may urinate or defecate in a newborn's crib. These are
not acts of malice or jealousy. Territorial marking relieves a
pet's anxiety, covering the baby's scent (or yours) with its own.
Do not scold your pet for this behavior, as this will only increase
its stress during adjustment to new circumstances. Prevent access
to its targets and spend more time with the pet.
Training Your Pet to Tolerate Children
Problems between a pet and a child begin at the toddler stage.
When the baby learns to crawl and then to walk, it enters a new
phase, and your pet's view of the child may change. A dog with
a strong instinct to hunt small creatures may not immediately
recognize this new, ground-level moving target as the same baby
that days earlier was carried from place to place. Predatory behavior
may be awakened in pet dogs that have never displayed any interest
in hunting or any intolerance of your child. Many dogs and cats
fear small children. Rather than approaching a baby, they are
more likely to run away from it. Parents should be watchful when
the baby begins crawling and walking. Keep your dog by your side
in a "sit/stay" position while the baby moves about.
Reward its controlled response with caresses and calm words of
praise. A toddler is less likely to be intentionally injured by
a cat (unless the cat was defending itself), perhaps because a
domestic cat's predatory instincts are triggered by much smaller
prey. Even gentle cats and dogs can be provoked by toddlers and
young children. When your baby becomes a toddler, take time to
reassure your pet during supervised interaction. Remain watchful
and teach your child to respect your pet. More often than not,
you will need to protect your pet from your child.
Training Your Child To Be "Pet Wise"
A child should be taught to interact appropriately with pets
from the time s/he begins to crawl and walk. From the moment they
begin to crawl, children investigate everything around them, including
your pet. Your pet's toys, food or water bowl and a cat's litter
box are fair targets. To your pet's misfortune, young children
have no perception of the pain they can inflict by biting, stepping
or jumping on, kicking, squeezing, hitting, pinching, twisting
or pulling various parts of your pet's body. A child may lift
and toss a pet that is light enough, and not fast enough to avoid
it. Many children delight in waking a sleeping pet by screaming
in its ear or persistently chasing it, giving it no peace. Your
children's friends should also be monitored when your pet is nearby.
Under adult supervision, children must be taught how to treat
pets. Children must learn that pets are not toys and are living
beings that feel pain. It is not enough to tell them what not
to do. Children must be taught to substitute unacceptable behavior
with acceptable behavior toward your pet. Children must be shown
which parts of a pet's body can be touched and how to gently pet
them. Teach them not to disturb an animal while it is resting
or sleeping, eating a meal, or playing with or chewing on a favorite
toy or object. Teach your child not to pursue a pet that runs
away from them. Teach them not to restrain a pet that is trying
to break free. A child must be made to understand its own physical
strength and the consequences of its behavior. In some cases,
role playing is helpful. A child can pretend to be a dog or cat
while an adult mimics the child. If your child is uncooperative,
it may be best to keep pet and child separated until the child
demonstrates more maturity and self-control. It may be necessary,
and indeed humane, to place your pet temporarily or permanently
in another home. No pet should be made to suffer unnecessarily.
Every pet has limits to its own tolerance and even the kindest,
most reliably patient animal has a breaking point. It is unfair
to everyone to allow your child to continually harass a beloved
pet.
Reasons for Adopting a Pet
Parents who are considering acquiring a pet to teach their preadolescent
or adolescent child to be responsible should reconsider their
motivation. Your expectations must be realistic. More often than
not, pet care falls on the parents' shoulders. Some adults consider
it educational for their child to watch pets mate, become pregnant
and deliver a litter. Parents who want to teach a child to be
responsible should have pets neutered before sexual maturity.
Your child can learn about reproduction from other appropriate
resources.